Random Thought Bubbles

I'm in Auckland! If you didn't already know =P The flight was a wee bit scary because the plane weaved from side to side a little during take off and dipped quite a bit during the descent for landing. It was about 10hrs and since I've taken ktms to Singapore from KL it doesn't seem like a very long time. And contrary to me being fidgety, I can actually sit in a chair for long periods of time without getting out of it.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

The airport bit was stressful because the counter people were very strict with the weight limitation. 30kg... I was 6kg overweight at first. Took out some stuff and we were 1.8kg overweight. The man behind the counter was not only very brisk and short with us but he was also quite rude. It's not as if I don't understand him. B-lardy hell. So I ended up checking in later and getting a middle seat... the nice lady let me through with 1.1kg overweight. Sheesh... and she told me that I was passenger 198... yep... so that's that.

I ended up sitting among a group of Dutch tourists. I had a laptop, a very heavy and full backpack and one draggy luggage thingy. I didn't weigh them but they must've been close to 25kg altogether. Crazy carrying them I tell you. Sure sweat and sure muscle ache. Stress when putting everything in the overhead compartment because I was afraid of dropping it on some poor fella's head. I kept apologizing and excuse me-ing because it seemed like I was in everyone's way. haha! And one should declare ivory. It's an animal stuff it says on the arrival card. The arrival card is also in colour... haha... unnecessary =P

It also says to declare objectionable (indecent) articles - why can't they just write pornography?

All through the flight I had bouts of teariness and bouts of being extremely sad. I still don't quite know exactly what I was sad about because at the moment I'm fine. All I know was that I was watching 'The Last Kiss' (new movie with the guy from Scrubs in it) and suddenly I am overwhelmed with the blues. No bawling, of course, there were too many strangers with strange tongues around. The movie's pretty good though. You know what's another good movie? High Fidelity.

Detached sentences. I think I'm still a little woozy from being on the plane for so long.

I couldn't sleep so I had 2 glasses of white wine. It was actually quite good. Slept for a bit after that then suddenly we here. Amazing this thing called air travel.

Some pictures =)

Arrival Hall - We waited around quite long for Man Keat who got searched =(

I was checking my mail just now and I have this email from one of the consultants who'll be heading our anaesthesia rotation. The further I read along the more it felt as if I was getting myself into a whole lot of trouble because honestly I've forgotten almost everything I've learnt at IMU these 2.5 years. Like everything. Like... yeah... =( oh no... and I couldn't get my lazy ass to study anything. Even though I had all the time in the world. Again, why do we always procrastinate so.

My parents are coming in today... I still haven't got the books I wanted to get... I'm so totally out of my league. Die la!! How?!?!

Stress levels at the moment - Orange, brimming over to red soon. Probably when I land in Auckland and when everything really starts. Oh no...

Die la die la die la....

I'm so gonna get pummelled and cry my eyes swollen goldfish like and look like the blur sotong that I am.

Off to Auckland on Sunday... new place, new scary things to be scared about. AHHHH!!!!

I had a small gathering thingy at my brother's place on my birthday at the beginning of this month. Things have been pretty laid-back and altogether procastinating behaviour inducing so I haven't actually blogged about it at all. Ling Wei posted some pictures on the mass birthday clubbing session at maison on kecohppl though that some pictures of us there. I'll miss clubbing with them... sigh... another thing to leave behind for the time being.

Just another themed party (punk rock this time) but because our group has slowly dwindled down ,it was relatively tame, although everyone seems to have taken to cam-whoring lately... which resulted in a whole lot of poser shots... hehe =)

Not too much in the mood of writing it up but it was a good birthday =)

All 3 jackets are mine =)

Queen Jebbo and AlcoMe

Ling Wei - The only one noticing I'm taking a picture

Punk Rock Baby!

No party is complete without some bottles and some cups and friends

When we finally got sick of mengada-ing

All the girls at the party (minus Jeb who came later)

Brandon Star

Semangat leh! Ling Wei, Bran and Racine painted their nails black to match the theme

And this is THE picture of the party - Elf Gowri (haha!)

In a few days I'll be in Auckland. I'm usually game for new places because I like the idea of a place that hasn't been imprinted with any memories. Clean slate, that kind of thing. But yesterday it suddenly dawned on me that I was actually afraid of going. There is a certain sense of daunting, of doubt that I'll be happy there. This is something strange because I love new experiences... be they good or bad. I always look back upon them as stories to tell and re-tell again later on because what is life but a series of experiences.

I've only been in KL for give or take 3 years but I've come to regard it as more of home than good ol' Brunei. This place that is not really home but home. I dread leaving. This does not bode well. *emo emo emo*

So my visa's been done (that in itself is a story... I went with 4 juniors to Singapore to get one sticker stuck in my passport that I may be granted passage into Auckland, that land as yet so stranger to me, and in the return journey we missed the ktm we were supposed to take because everyone took to leisurely strolling about after we'd gotten our visas. We spent all in all about 5-6hrs in Singapore. It was like taking a train to Singapore to eat lunch. =P So we ended up taking the bus back... it was awfully silly but yep... experiences... at least I got to buy nice brownies) and my bags are more or less packed, I've got a place to stay and I've more or less got everything I need... except maybe everyone in kecohppl... but there's always the internet...

Sigh... so many things to leave behind.

This is the problem with becoming emotionally attached to anything. Sometimes I wonder why I allow myself to be so completely immersed in a place, an emotion, a being, a moment. There is just too much room for disappointment, unexpected jerks of disruption, endings, sadness. But I do it nonetheless, all the while convincing myself that the downside never outweighs the upside. There cannot be happiness without sadness, no? No one would be able to tell the difference without the other. I'm babbling... I leave on the 28th of Jan... 9 something at night... should be at the airport round 6 plus... sigh...

We saw Jeb first =)

Looks like Oxford Clinical Handbook is Jeb's as her going away present... I dunno... *shrug* it is useful =)






And while we were at Burger King... Brandon met someone who made him feel small.

Trying to do one of those 'pro-candid' shots. Candid shot try #1 Wannabe photographer lah =P

This is Bryan and his mom and if you squint you can see his ring pendant

Nasioncom sucks... I lost the post I did before for this. But no matter, this post is dedicated to Ling Tze, who's been my best pal since Form 3. That's a pretty long time =) We didn't get to spend all the time in the world together before I left for KL but ya well, I do come from Brunei and I'll be back before she knows it =) There's nothing much to do in Brunei, aside from attempting to window shop (but without having many places to window shop at), shisha and opening laptops at cafes, so we went to take pictures at a christmas display thingy outside the toyota/lexus car showroom. They have displays up every christmas, hari raya and chinese new year and apparently they're very expensive displays. I wouldn't know *shrug* but they are big. I know Christmas is long over but I'm posting the pictures anyway =P

So this is the whole thing =)

This is as far as two people can take pictures of themselves =P

Notice the sign =P

Seriously it was too early in the morning for antics

Apparently a bunch of drunk angmohs vandalized the display on christmas eve. haha. stupid fellas. They had to pay the fine and put the stuff back in place

MUACK! with a poor pupil-less reindeer

It was the day I was leaving from KL and she'd slept over and we woke up to a sunny sunny 9am (at a time when I'd gotten used to waking up after everyone else had had lunch and probably dessert and tea too but since I was leaving memanglah saya patut berbuat demikian... otherwise we'd miss taking photos at the place again like the last time >_<) That would explain me looking blur. And taking photos of a big display including two people but only having either of the two people take the said photos is difficult. But we managed as best we could. It would probably have been nicer if we took the photos at night... but ya well... maybe going to a place just to take pictures with it is a teeny bit jakun but that's about the same as dreaming of travelling the world and taking pictures of that... it's just on a different level =)

Hope you're doing better...

Happy New Year Everyone! So I'm back in KL and man is it good to be back =) It also means clubbing for my birthday! Got kaki, got venue, got reason for par-tay! And everyone's finally of age which is excellent! There's no place like KL =) Sounds like Dorothy and her shoes... and speaking of shoes... I have a new pair =) As soon as I saw them I had to have them. This is my first pair of extremely red shoes. I got them at a department store in Brunei where I never thought I'd ever find anything interesting. They remind me of parade band uniforms.

Red Shoes.... MmmmMmmMMmm ;)

I picked 10 pairs of shoes to bring over. I got all my stuff for Auckland all pack this time because I'm leaving from here. I could only bring 8 pairs because there wasn't enough room for my 2 pairs of boots. Haha! Shoessss... so my mom'll bring my other two pairs when she comes to see me off when I fly off end of Jan =) Finally can wear boots without appearing to be a wannabe =P

I'm quite excited for my birthday! Mostly because I didn't think I'd be able to celebrate it here any time soon. Kecohppl rawk! No matter what. The only bad part about this coming birthday is turning 22... it feels so foreign, that number... twenty-two... 2-2... I'm just dreading the day I turn 29 when I realize the twenty-something period just sped by without my noticing and without me actually achieving anything of worth. Sigh... growing old can be somewhat depressing =P

Many thanks to Ling Tze for the earliest birthday present given =) I love it and use it obviously! Pictures of our Christmas display mengadaness will be up in the next post. And look out for birthday pics soon =) Thursday clubbing outting k! Hop till we drop! Looking forward to that =))

I had my hair cut at the Alan Salon in Brunei a few days ago. Apparently Mr Alan's got quite a few awards... but he wasn't around and I wanted my haircut so someone else cut my hair. Anyway, after being spoilt rotten by William, I keep fearing that any other haircut I get by any other hairdresser might turn out bad. But I've been meaning to get a haircut for a while now and I can't keep relying on William since he keeps giving free haircuts even though our deal is over (the poor thing! =P)... so let's give Alan Salon Brunei a go. Haha!

So leh, to keep things 'safe' I just told the guy to cut my hair assymmetrical like it already is and pointed to the picture in the magazine he brought out (and the picture was coincidentally a model from Toni&Guy UK) for the short bit I wanted on the sides. It so isn't the same as the mag but it turned out pretty good either way... and since I haven't had anything worthwhile to do for quite a while I spent the night after my haircut being a narcissist. Hehe! Taking picture of self not easy OKAY! I must've taken almost a hundred shots of myself. Haha... so mengada! There are only 2 or 3 I like. This is how I look like now =) I'm particularly proud of it because it looks like someone took it for me =D

I was going through the little file where I keep all my poems. They date all the way back to 1999. The frequency at which I write in it has diminished as the years progressed which is somewhat a good thing because I only write when there is sorrow to be dispelled. It is my diary so to say. The poems mostly don't have titles but I date them and each poem conjures up the memories and emotions of the poem's situation. I do not keep it under lock and key because no one would understand the words, even in prose I seem to write in riddles. Today I read through it again and I rediscover myself and also that I suck at writing poetry but that's beside the point.

Where I was erratic and a complete frantic case, I have learnt to be calm; where I was sorrowful and bleak about the future, I have learnt to be optimistic; where I was overtly sensitive, I have learnt to check myself and understand the reason behind me being moody that day. This is where I grew the 'right' way.

Suddenly it strikes me as humourous, the way the characters of the poems evolved over time, from a thoroughly confused little girl cowering in a dark corner writing by candlelight (because that was, in her opinion, the best way to evoke the demons) to self-pity and insolence at times to stubborn surrender (if there is such a thing) with the half-hearted attempts at poetry in paragraphs instead of verses because it became difficult to compose the words in fractured sentences to realizing that I keep writing the same words but in different sequences all on the same topic... over and over again and finally acceptance where most days I am not affected by past wounds and I'm taking each day as it comes. You know all that corny 'Today is special. That's why it's called the PRESENT' kinda stuff. The gruelling road to these self renovations just seems so... unnecessary. What I mean is, I now feel that all the brooding and mucking around sad was so unrequired. The important bit was the part where I finally got to the instance of realization for the matter at hand. The numero uno answer to the question. The key that finally opens the door. The sweet rain of clarity on my psyche. Then again, I am a stubborn person... I'd never learn otherwise =P And I am still young and silly.

The latest entries are from early this year when so much was happening. Some more recent pages have been torn out or scribbled over in a rage or in disappointment.. whatever, but sometimes I am still surprised at what comes from my pen (or pencil... I like writing in pencil... I know my words are transient, too =P).

I actually got quite tired reading about myself today (Haha!)... I can get quite monotonous and boring, like, snap-outta-it/get-on-with-it boring. But obviously you people would know too *embarrassed grin* And I never seem to completely finish off a thought...

Even though I'm not good I shall post poetry =P because I can =P

---- From a time I was sleeping the days away ----

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Ok lah, I'm done rambling =) Thank you for reading. Hehe! Oh oh, and here's a picture of Lina and me during convo =) Just for the heck of it! Go gym people! It's happy-fying and it keeps your collarbones visible =P heheh!

I went for my first ever threading session today! My mom was commenting how uneven and ugly my eyebrows were getting to be so while she was waiting for her manicure to dry and I'd just finish showering after gym (the manicure place is right beside the gym... it's a 'spa' konon) she suggested I get my eyebrows tidied up. The first time she'd commented I'd been defensive... of course... looks were being attacked... anyone would get defensive =P Anyway, the lady who did them bushy eyebrows up didn't do no funny side-to-side motions like the lady at that other threading place as described by Gowri. I was disappointed really but I didn't quite have the time to think about it because it was PAINFUL WEI. I do enjoy plucking my eyebrows. The feeling of removing 'unwanted' hair oddly feels like removing unwanted feelings. But just like Racine, when she had her first threading session, I began to tear. I shouldn't have laughed at her =P That little bit of thread can really pull out a whole bunch of hair at a time. OUCH! I don't know how people can thread a whole face or hand or leg or any other large bodily area for that matter. Sure cry one.

Today was also the day I met Nicky. She's Ling Tze's senior and for once I actually had a proper conversation on more important things aside from the local tavern gossip. We did the usual local politics/corruption, religion, marriage/divorce, Brunei culture and attitudes, social class/status/power and how Brunei is really still backward even though they try their best to project an image that's otherwise. I honestly did not expect a good talk tonight when told that we were going to meet up with her. Figured it was just another run-off-the-mill 'hello and goodbye I'll probably not see you again.'

Oh oh, and today I switched to Blogger Beta. It doesn't look very different... anddddd my brother was Mario again today. It was for Friday Night. Haha! I don't know how it went but they have a part where Mario dies and he had the 'Continue' and countdown going.

Sidenote: I feel like going to Chocz. I want drinking chocolate =(

SADDEST POEM

This is one of my favourite poems from him and it's sappy but I cry when I read it. It's straightforward and naked in all it's despair and I feel as if such words could spring forth from me if only I had the talent in arrangement. No embroidery with lavish images aside from the starry night sky and dew on grass. But so much is lost in translation the original must be a hundred times more forlorn. Just like chinese slapstick works only in chinese.

It appears Sixpence None The Richer made a song based on this poem. That is strange. Another thing to check out is 100 Love Sonnets by this fella too. Only some of the sonnets are available online though. Passionate betul!

Back to gyming for me. The days are rushing by again because all I do is eat, sleep and gym. Attempting Christmas shopping in Brunei is wholly frustrating. There's nothing I think is worth giving as a gift. Bah Humbug! Haha! Oh ya, new post on kecohppl for me... although it ain't nothing special either =P

http://kecohppl.blogspot.com/2006/12/capisha-da-shisha.html

The treadmill is a very good invention. One can run for miles without moving from that one spot, the contraption sits well in a room (maybe even an air-conditioned one) free from annoying bugs or more importantly mosquitoes (I hate mosquitoes. They seem to love me), free from people in your way (I don't like running around to get past), free from uneven surfaces (I happen to not like running on uneven surfaces) and free from doggy/cat/any kind of crap (eeps!) =P Gosh I sound so oidee-toidee uppity. Ah, the comforts of modern living.

So I'm running again... and it's exhilarating.

As long as I've jumped into my car with my trusty gym bag (which isn't really a gym bag... more like a go kai kai bag... it's just big enough to hold everything) I've beaten the bum monster back into its cave for another day. That and the fact that going to gym ain't free no more I'd like to fully utilize my membership.

Thud--thud--thud goes my trainers on the treadmill while my heart threatens to beat out of its cage like a little red bird almost freed. (I've never had good stamina... and probably never will... I ran everday for a month the last time I was at gym and never got anywhere, figuratively speaking =) even with all the pushing myself =P) Breathe evenly, you can do it. So goes a voice in my head. Don't stop, don't stop. If you stop, you'll stop the next time and the next and where will that get you?

Don't stop. Breathe in... Breathe out... annnddd Repeat...

First 10mins passes and I already wanna stop (yes, I know... so fast wanna stop already ah? hhaha... told you already what... I'm not a runner) and again I tell myself, don't give up! Don't you like it when you finish it all? HMMM? And I keep repeating these few sentences like a mantra against surrender, all the while wondering why I like to punish myself like this.

12 mins - ok ok... that's 7mins plus to go (it appears that when I do that I kinda 'trick' myself into thinking it's gonna end sooner than it is) you're not that tired really. Just lazy...

15 mins - eh, 5 more mins (for some reason I feel 5 mins is a short period of time) and I'll start to psycho myself again... ok ok, easy peasy 5 mins go! go! go! =P And I will be at peace with the world at the point where 20mins is up and I've run it all without stopping. It never fails to give me some sense of accomplishment although it's nothing much really. I like gym =) It makes me happy.

In other news, Mr. Gym Owner, I found out recently, is a member of Fahrenheit. Haha! I put a picture of him on my blog a year ago. I saw an article on him in the newspaper saying he's 'made Brunei proud' because he's gone and become known in Taiwan and that the group he's in is performing in Hong Kong... I suppose his girly boy looks do do the trick and I also think he's the best looking of the four member Fahrenheit. And he's also in the drama series Tokyo Juliet. Racine says it's bodoh. I agree =P So there you go, a famous Bruneian. Just for the heck of it, here's a picture.

YEESH! Blogger hasn't been adding pictures when it says it has for a while now. That is highly infuriating. I had to photobucket this photo... not like it's important in the first place but I suppose if anyone doesn't want to be irritated by blogger then USE PHOTOBUCKET! hehe =)

His name is now Wu Zhun from Goh Kiat Chun. So funny... I assume it's to cater to him being in a Taiwanese boyband. I think he used this picture for the gym business licence. It's hanging above the counter and I can see it's a studio photo... mengada betul! Haha! Passport photo also must use picture like this... =P Blea!

For the past week I've been religiously going to the gym and running my twenty minutes on the treadmill and hopefully still have the wind to jump on the cross-trainer and stride another twenty minutes out. However nowadays I've kinda lost my reasons to run because the last time I was such a gym freak I'd run out my frustrations, pump iron and go to every class I could/wanted to take until it was time to go hit the shower, go home, eat dinner, maybe blog and then fall completely exhausted into bed. Now, I'm generally in a good mood so running's kinda lost it's cause. And I find that I like running to Anything but Ordinary by Avril Lavigne (but I'm no Avril fan at all, it just feels good for some strange reason. It's the only song from her that I listen to anyway).

So aside from doing the routine of pumping iron on alternate days, step/pilates classes and running/cardio work everyday, I haven't been doing anything. Nope, nothing at all. I keep complaining about this don't I? Haha =P It's all been bicep curls, lateral pull, tricep and leg press, abdominal crunches, step-ups, hip raise, la di da... it's heavenly though. I love the rush of endorphin every single day. Hello my name is Marilyn, and I'm a gym and endorphin junkie... hee hee...

I am now at Coffee Bean after a gym session. My best friend is studying for her exam and I'm on the comp. It's a trend in Brunei to whip out your laptop at any blink zone in a cafe with a drink and type your afternoon/evening/night away instead of talking/catching up/kecohing. Honestly I don't understand the logic in that. When you go out with your friends it's supposed to be a kecohing session right? Automatic understanding no? Well, the cafes are usually quiet because of this exact reason. People are sitting around using the free wireless connection and chatting to other people (who may only be a few cafes away or at home in Brunei somewhere... sigh... the silliness of it all). I would understand if it's to do your work and you feel like doing it somewhere but this is getting to be borderline ridiculous.

Silliness aside, I accidentally joined the advance Step class. This is more or less an aerobics class but it's just lots of stepping here and there and on top of the Reebok step block thingy. It was so fast and the instructor just kept going, I was lost. Haha! I pride myself with being able to pick up dance steps really quickly but this was so fast-paced I stopped several times to scratch my head and laugh at myself becaue I couldn't keep up. I sweated buckets though... (well, my buckets isn't really buckets but I was drenched from just trying to make as if I was keeping up). Crazy!! The rest of the class obviously were regulars and I was the nubcaek. Good thing I don't feel embarrassed being completely lost in a exercise classes. I'm definitely going again! It was alot like dancing around the step block. Not very canggih steps but the instructor stops for no one and she doesn't complete all the steps. Just calls out the steps, "Horseshoe! Step over! L step! Reverse horseshoe! Knee! Around the world! Back to the V! Step left! Cha Cha Cha! Bounce! Jumping Jack! And REPEAT!" (like what?! Haha!) Loved it though. Superb cardio workout.

I guess that's about all I'll be doing till I go back to KL again on the 2nd of Jan with my brother. I'll be flying from KL to Auckland with the rest of them who are going to Auckland too... most likely on the 28th unless we can get an earlier flight. I shall hope to reduce the 27.2% of me that's fat to 20% like the last time I was going to gym oh so regularly. Even though running does give me alot of time to think but so far I think I've been dry creatively. Rather not blog when I've got nothing interesting to say or no interesting pictures either. Hehe! Gosh I miss KL and all the people there and my brother =)

Oh I forgot to mention, Kah Heng shaved his head and posted pictures of the event on the Kecoh Ppl blog... OMG! Haha. Hope your new beginning works out Kah Heng... =)

I'm back in Brunei if anyone wants to know! =P I've been back since the 6th of November and that makes a week at home. As always nothing else has changed and I'm back to being a bum and an even worse one at that because I haven't even bothered to blog since I've been back... haha. That is strange. Last time I was back my blog kept growing more links. Anyway,

Latest adventure is helping my best friend in her English Lit assignment thingy. I'm reading up on Sylvia Plath's poem 'Daddy'. Ling Tze only called me up Sunday after I told her I was back Monday to tell me she has this assignment that's due this Thursday *eeps!* and it was supposed to be one of those term long poetry reading journals. Now it has to be done in a week. Haha... ah well. 13 weeks worth of an assignment squashed up into a few days worth... I'm looking forward to using my obviously rusty poetry analyzing skills. Aside from that, I've basically been quite idle... and I've only started reading up on 'Daddy' =P

Picture time! Well these are pilfered off Racine so everyone probably has seen them too. But I don't care! Hehe! Cleo 11th Birthday Bash at Zouk. The bunch of us went and I got a free bag for being best dressed! Then again being best dressed at that event wasn't much. The rest of the crowd didn't look very appealing either. I looked super disco compared to a whole lot of them. Blea... it was as if no one bothered to stick to the theme. The good thing was I only spent RM8.90 for my loopy earrings to be 'disco'... konon. Haha!

And since Blogger has again decided I have added enough pictures because it's stopped adding pictures for me I will stop here. I shall blog my free bag on the kecoh site. haha! =)

Aiya, since I haven't had anything funny or remotely interesting to say for such a long time... Here's a picture... I went to William's yesterday and got a haircut and Ricky dyed my hair ash blue... (another word of greyish blue really) it was supposed to be a sky blue but there wasn't enough time to bleach my hair till the appropriate shade of platinum blonde. It was, as always, a very satisfying experience nonetheless =) William enjoys making my hair asymmetrical and so I am yet again heavy on my right and light on my left. Haha! But this time there's no shaved portion and if I wanna even it out there's always a chance to have Milla Jovovich's (pronounced yo-vo-vitch) haircut in the MNG advertisements since the shorter side's more or less on the same lines anyway. Happy-fying indeed!

My teeth are getting more an more crooked!! And I have tried probably a million times to blog the rest of my shots side and back but blogger just doesn't wanna add anymore... so screw it la!

The theme this time around was their 'Raw' collection. The word 'raw' sounded awfully punk and shaved and distinctly stare inducing. I cringed slightly at the thought of it. It's supposed to be translucent, seamless cuts and erm... I can't remember the other words they used to describe it. Anyway, William said it was mostly 'commercial', which was good because it meant I wasn't sitting in his chair at the risk of becoming a punky collection cut. Hee hee! It was amusing how Ricky didn't even tell me what colour he was putting in my hair till I got out of the shampoo chair and in front of the mirror. Greyish blue! I suppose they know me well enough to know that I won't mind too much about whatever colour goes into my hair... since I have tried almost every colour sensible (or not!) except probably pink =P

I guess from the picture everyone can tell I just got a trim and got more taken off on the left =) no jaw-dropping change in hairstyle like the last time =P Just another day I get my hair shampooed and cut and blow-dried and dyed (so at the moment there's greyish blue, black and brown in my hair)... mmmm... =) I don't know if I'll ever let my hair grow long again. I enjoy short hair too much. It's also nice to see that both Ricky and William really like doing their jobs. I hope I still have that love for my job when I'm older. Oh and William's a senior now... which means his hair-cuts would take you back RM100 O_o wah!

So I've been bumming around in KL at my brother's expense and generally being a housewife and errand boy. Being is Vista does still give me a sense of home though... I mean it's been my home for about 3 years and everything about it is comfortable. Soon I shall be uprooted again and off to Auckland. I finally got my offer letter so now all I gotta do is get my visa done and get on that plane to the land where there's more sheep than people.

I should be going back to Brunei on the 3rd of Nov, after the much awaited silly meeting with someone from the university of Auckland on the 2nd. Hopefully all goes well.

I found a jacket that I really like in Zara. It's super kewl but I think it won't be enough to keep me warm. I look like a skinny white Kenny with the hood up. (the jacket's the puffy kind with metal clasps and a hood with furry trimmings)... but I suppose I could easily freeze in it's 100% nylon outershell, 100% polyester lining and filling and be a frozen iced marshmallow instead.

More when I actually feel like writing...

Isn't funny how there's always a phrase for everything like this one...

I hate it when there's a fork in the road and choosing one will mean you don't get to see what happens with the other. I wish there was a save option, come back to this point and try the other way thingy. Rewind, here?, okay go on that other way.

It's annoying how closing doors, making decisions and closing off options is overwhelmingly scary and there's that chance that you'll regret choosing the road less taken or the road always taken or the road you didn't want to take in the first place or the road you thought you wanted... whatever. It sucks. Then at the point where it turns to regret you wish with all your heart you hadn't said this or hadn't done that or had said this or had done that. Always the same tape being played in your head, 'Stupid cow, ou're such a big mess. Now why you go and do that to yourself?' At that point I feel like running away and disappearing.

I say that I'm content to go with the flow now... that everything that comes by I'll take like a good little soldier. I've been doing fine and most days it keeps me sane because there are no more whispering monsters. But today it got to me...

I'm blogging from my best friend's MacBook at Coffee Bean. Haha! I feel like a busy person. I don't actually know what model of Apple it is... but it says MacBook at the bottom of the screen. Hehe! Apple rocks but too bad everyone uses Windows instead. The only gripe I've got about this thing is I don't like about this laptop at the moment is the touchpad. I can't just tap the touchpad twice to click or double-click. The graphics for the little menus kick-ass though... I want!! Hehe!

I'm told Apple is good because few people make viruses for it... but I was also told that there were recent incidences of Macs exploding on tables and in people's laps. Ah well... always with the good and bad. Just like my phone... only after I buy it do I read reviews of the K750i not being up to par because it's joystick ain't reliable, like all other Sony Ericsson phones with joysticks (they should start calling the dumbstick then... haha, since it's so unreliable). I get the feeling that these people are just exaggerating since I've had my phone for about half a year it's still ok. I've dropped it a bunch of times though (hehe! I learnt not to drop it too many times... Sony Ericsson ain't no Nokia 3310 that'll survive almost any fall(s)). It's definitely not as lasting.

Anyway, today I went to a Halal Convention. Yes, that's right... you read right. Ling Tze wanted to go check it out... I don't know why... she has a friend there... so ya, we went and met up and got free samples and a free dinner. We went one round around the exhibition, met a bunch of people we didn't know (two from the Ministry of Agriculture haha!) and was told that the cheese supplier was giving away stuff on Friday... hehe! Guess we'll be back there then to get free fetta cheese =) Did you know that there is such a thing as a halal water filter? I thought halal was just for livestock... I didn't think it even extended to vegetables. Now there's WATER in the equation? Apparently there's something in the filter that should be religiously right. What will they think of next? Halal clothes? Wait... actually haha... that exists already... oopsie! =P

A small car just passed by the cafe. It's stereos were so LOUD I could feel the vibration from my chair as it passed by. How could anyone sit in a thing that noisy? I forgot how silly people here can be about their cars. It used to be excessively large exhausts... I think that's died down... Now it appears it's excessively loud stereos again. Oh ya, another fad is using your laptop at any free cafe blink zone... preferably Coffee Bean, CoffeeZone (that's a Brunei coffee place), Chill? and maybe Dome or some other place... I don't really know anymore... I wouldn't be surprised if there's probably no more. I have a feeling I've written about this before. I can't remember. People in Brunei flock to anywhere that provides a free service, gives out free samples, promises free coupons, free this-or-that. I feel sad for this place. I went to the only other mall and there's no more Guess (only the handbag and kids sections remain in the nicer mall) and everything is local... No MNG, No Zara, No Topshop (we never had any of these three), No Levi's (that closed down too) and No more Delifrance (that closed down recently as well)... the local shopping scene is pathetic. =P

In airplane demonstrating the use of that yellow thingy =P


Christmas party with the very red and very itchy Jin Aun


Hai Fon measuring the size of his boobs

It's been a boring week spent mostly at home. My day starts when everyone else is having tea. I haven't seen the sun rise when I awake but I've seen the sun rise before I go to sleep a bunch of times. Then it's Astro till I'm too bored to even switch channels because I've been channel surfing all day. I'm left with the internet at night which is when I will blog or carry out an assortment of utterly useless (but often entertaining) games and activities.

'Hair Mask' gunk and the clingwrap =P

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The following is an account of what I think I felt while packing before leaving for Coronade Hotel where my brother was staying and then jumping into a plane and leaving for home (meaning Brunei even though KL has been more of a home ever since I got so close with all you people, you know who you are...). I have no way of knowing whether this is just a figment of my overly romantic imagination or if I really was just sad to leave. I like to think that I was just sad to leave but I didn't cry... and I usually cry... maybe I'm just getting older and desensitized to goodbyes.

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So anyway, I'm the kind of person who can't do things in little portions. I just gotta get everything all at once... like packing for instance (hee hee!). I just couldn't get myself to start packing (in bits) so I'd have less to pack when it really came down to the very last day (sobs! which means I had a whole lot) ergh...

It's finally Sunday night but it's really just really early morning Monday and I haven't been sleeping because I've been hanging out at Ah Moo's place far longer than I should (entertainment central if ya'll didn't know that... but even that's past it's sell-by date boohoo!) and now it has come down to the time I absolutely need to pack. I sit in stated relunctance because I am in denial and I just don't want to move away. It is not because I love IMU or love Vista but because this place represents everything that has been happy, joyful, sad, painful, stressful, just downright memorable in the past 2 and a half years. There will never be another time like this, I tell myself as I sit at my window. I am trying to make myself cry so at least I can make sense of all the madness in my head because then at least I know I'm just really sad. The lack of tears is disconcerting. And when I do start packing the mountain of stuff I've accumulated in these 2.5 years is just that. A MOUNTAIN. I had 3 whole boxes, 2 luggage bags, one small backpack, one big hiking backpack, 1 hand-carry bag and another very ugly but quite big bag full of stuff. OMG... good thing I had my brother and his friends (who were in KL on holiday) to lug my stuff for me. Hehe. But I still had to leave a bunch of stuff at Sam's place... THANK YOU AMELIA and SAM =)

This was how much stuff I had to throw out. All my shoe boxes!!!

I filled the whole green thingy la. hahah!

In the midst of packing I just felt mechanical... as if it wasn't quite real, like I wasn't really moving away. Sigh... I had tons of stuff to throw out as well. The packing just went on and on and on... since I had refused to ask for help and insisted I could do it all alone... hehe... good thing Bryan (who wanted to send me to the airport too =)) and Chris asked if I needed help. THANKS GUYS! They helped me move my shelf and everything else either into Sam's place or Bry's car. Amelia came too (thanks for distributing the stuff I've gotta return!!) and we all piled into Bry's car and we (Chris, Amy, Bry and I) got driven to the hotel. I felt so loved =) I owe you guys so much...

These are the bottles I threw out before I left. Each bottle tells a story of a time when there was a themed party or when some crazy happened. There are the wine bottles for special occasions like my birthday, other none-special occasions (thanks for the one bottle ben, I haven't forgotten) and for the 'refined' cheese party that wasn't so refined after all. Tequila bottles and an Absolut and a tiny bit of Baileys for the Halloween party that had the least turn-out ever for any party ever organized by Ms. Van Wilder herself (oh well!) but where there was so much drink and so few people almost everyone turned out drunk (which is of course always excellent!) but Bryan didn't make to the toilet so puked all over the floor (because I was in the toilet.. but couldn't remember doing even that. Haha!). More Absolut (kurrant is nice) bottles for the time we had a 'lubang' party where Rac projectiled but didn't know it. Haha! More tequila bottles and that suspiciously small bottle of thai song for the time we had another party where I died and scandal ensued. The Bombay Sapphire for the time Lina and I left my own just after eos3 party to go party at Rush instead but not before downing several shots of the 'perfume water' that has a higher alcohol content than vodka. And, and, and all the other parties...