Isn't funny how there's always a phrase for everything like this one...
When you close a door, another door opens
I hate it when there's a fork in the road and choosing one will mean you don't get to see what happens with the other. I wish there was a save option, come back to this point and try the other way thingy. Rewind, here?, okay go on that other way.
It's annoying how closing doors, making decisions and closing off options is overwhelmingly scary and there's that chance that you'll regret choosing the road less taken or the road always taken or the road you didn't want to take in the first place or the road you thought you wanted... whatever. It sucks. Then at the point where it turns to regret you wish with all your heart you hadn't said this or hadn't done that or had said this or had done that. Always the same tape being played in your head, 'Stupid cow, ou're such a big mess. Now why you go and do that to yourself?' At that point I feel like running away and disappearing.
*sigh*
Problems always have this insiduous way of sneaking gradually up on you from behind, in front, from the sides, everywhere and then suddenly peaking at the worst of moments. One just has to admire how that keeps on being a recurring theme.
Time to sleep on everything. If I had to literally sleep on all my thoughts I'd need a bigger bed and a bigger blanket.
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