It's been awhile since I've written something on relationships. I suppose that's because that issue's taken a boot to the backseat of the car that is my life (HAHAH! that's corny... all these allegories just crack me up) But that's a story for another day. Anyway, today while I was pigging out in front of the TV it occurred to me that I didn't quite know the difference between Jealousy and Envy (yeah yeah... those of you who do and are laughing at me, I say to you BLEA!! =P at least I went to find out for myself). From the definition, they really aren't similar things at all.
Jealousy (as Wikipedia puts it) refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. Envy on the other hand is an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it." These two emotions are excellently displayed in Othello. I watched part of that movie but never got around to reading the book so in all honestly I had no idea what Othello was about but the super concise summary would be Othello kills his wife out of jealousy because he thinks she is having an affair with his lieutenant and he thinks this because Iago (a standard bearer) poisons Othello because he is envious of Othello's position. Othello's such a gullible man. No tragic hero here... just another tragic idiot.
So, JEALOUSY... In general I'm not the jealous kind so I'll just have to speak from experience. A little bit of this highly corrosive feeling is well and good since it does signify a certain level of the person wanting to assert 'ownership' on his woman/her man but when it comes down to an argument exploding in your face because you happen to be able to remember an ex's phone number off the top of your head that's when you gotta reassess the situation. I don't believe a person should be over-possessive. There was a time when I had to pretend to be jealous and over-possesive just because that was how he perceived caring. What a lesson that was because I made the mistake of carrying it with me even after that relationship ended. That's not the right way to show that you care for another person. If mr/ms partner is constantly going out one-on-one with other people then these feelings of jealousy are well founded but otherwise I pity mr/ms partner who has to undergo all that emotional harrassment. I just don't understand the logic behind being over-possessive. I think the harder you hold on to someone the more that person will want to move away. If you're the jealous fella please do me and your partner a favour... douse your head in a toilet bowl and stop being that way. The complexity of this emotion entails a very long and painful road to recovery (as someone I know can vouch... you know who you are... hehehe! I'm sorry none of my bits of advice really worked). I have yet to find a way to 'cure' the jealous monster of a partner. People never change, fundamentally anyway. Of course at the end of it, I don't mean to allow your partner to do anything he/she well wants to... like run of with some other fella... but a balance in order. Always with the balance, people!
ENVY, one of the deadly seven sins (eeps!). The funny thing about envy can be found in all girls no matter the size, shape or position. It can also be found in guys but generally it doesn't surface as much (maybe in the business world though... money, prestige and all things golden. Ya get?). This emotion is most intense when the person envied is very similar to the envier and the funny thing would be that every single girl/woman/female will envy another girl/woman/female no matter how confident she is. It may be because of bigger boobs, hotter caboose, she perceived as more beautiful, height, status, popularity, wealth, opportunity, everything all at once or anything at all. I admit, I do envy (but of course I shall not say whom... it would be too embarrassing). Just ask your friendly neighbourhood female if she envies somebody close to her. Unless she has no dreams/aspirations/general wants at all, she'll be envious of someone for sure. I blame magazines, the fashion industry, society as a whole who make only thin and beautiful women desirable... I say all these but yet I too am sucked into the same vortex. Sigh...
Another random thought... don't you find it so funny how when you're watching a romance movie you realize people just usually get mad with each other based on misconceptions and lots of misunderstanding and how easy it would be just to resolve the situation if they'd only looked at it from all sides? It's unfortunate we don't have that rewind and replay button. I think too many disagreements/fights/upset moments/sad moments/etc could have then be avoided.
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