Midnight quiet reminds me of desperate times, of those periods when I thought I wouldn't survive. Just like being terminally ill, except, I'm not. I've forgotten what it's like to live normally. It's strange how everything can change so much, yet we can still adapt and only realize too late how drastic things have become. Now I try not to ask questions and take them as they come, those arrows that sting but yet I so embrace.
So I take another drag from the cup of life. This time it is bittersweet like the aftertaste of a once passionate relationship gone bad. I'm not too concerned about the future - there is nothing to look forward to. I've lost my fire again.
Oh why does my mind tell me I'm doing it all wrong, that it's time to move on to yet another foreign land? Why am I always waiting? It's not fair but I'm still doing it. I'm so tired of feeling like a milkshake. I'm craving for something more permanent than these transient meetings that leave me confused. I know they are no more than they are, just a temporary release, but I wish they could be. I've learnt not to read more into things, they don't exist. I've hid my emotions so well, I can't even voice them out now. Just as if the words dissipate when I grab at them.
3 comments:
looks like you had some tough times.
has your sem started yet? when's your holiday
I suppose tough times is an understatement to me :P I'm sem is ending actually. I'll be back in Brunei on the 30th of July thank goodness.
hahaha. No place like home eh? When will your hols end?
And if you're ever in the area and wanna hang. you know where to find me.
Take care. Enjoy some much needed rest.
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