Since I've been back I've been on eating binges everytime I'm sitting in front of the TV, or just sitting at home really :P It's strange how the urge to eat even though I'm not exactly hungry overtakes me in those moments of boredom. When I'm back in vista I sleep from boredom... but then again there's usually nothing in the fridge in the first place and nothing to watch on TV. He he! ;)
After gym a few days ago I was sitting with Ling Tze at one of those little cafe things drinking ice honey green tea with pearl thingies in them and reading magazines. It occurred to me that I was extremely hungry but since I'm extremely broke I didn't want to spend more money eating out. However, after flipping through 2 standard women's magazines I didn't feel like eating anymore. It's all those pictures of 'desireable' women and those 'fashionable' clothes. Not that I'm exactly dissatisfied with my own body (I don't think a girl who's completely satisfied with herself exists) but of course there are things I'd like to have... like a toned everything. Haha. I am still prone to stereotypes. Maybe that's why I don't buy magazines. It's a waste of money and a waste of my eating time :P Not to mention I'd be spending money on a whole lot of advertising enticing me to buy more things that I want but don't really need. No no no... for me, reading magazines only happens at the saloon, doctor's office, gym (we got it there too... reading material while we're bored cycling), cafe thingies like the one Ling Tze and I went to, someone else's mags if I happen to sit on it... yep yep. Everytime I read a magazine I get a sick anorexic-like feeling... like it's wrong to eat... no magazine for me alright.
Going off on a tangent, the other day I was experiencing another one of those moments of pure gold with the sun in my eyes when it occurred to me how strange that it would be happening to 'Fix You' by Coldplay. I'm no Coldplay fan but for some reason it hit a cord in me. I'm one of those who fall for lyrics rather than the song itself. I didn't start bawling in the car or anything but it was just so surreal. Anyway, I thought it was funny because I was there at peace with the world but the song that was playing was bittersweet. It's like having the person in charge of the soundtrack of your life play the wrong song at the wrong moment. But isn't that what Life is all about? Wrong timing... until you get it right and everything falls into place (again I am babbling). So every time 'Fix You' comes on the radio, that same peace falls over me and I get the feeling that everything will be all right, even though it is still not a happy song. That's conditioning for ya.
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