I realize there are still things that hurt, even if I try very hard to make them disappear.
While I was on my way to gym this evening I had this sense of complete peace. The sun was in my eyes but not so much that it'd be annoying. I'd turned off the radio and it just seemed as if everything was right with the world. It was a clear day, even with the minimal haze going on here in Brunei (compared to KL of course). The orange horizon, the quiet in my car and the thought of me on my way to my beloved workout place was just pure bliss. Like soaking in calm cool waters on a hot day. Strange how being away just makes all pain disappear. In a sense today was the best day I've had since I've been back.
Then having a very nice dinner with a friend. Stuffing myself till I was ready to burst. Realizing that I'm happy being alone. Finally coming to terms with it. Ah, the innocence of this.
But I come crashing and burning back to reality with just a few words. Funny how that happens. CRASHING BACK TO REALITY. Again I realize I am still not immune. Oh, how I loath these back and forth retches my heart makes, jerking me back into memories I don't want to remember.
While I was on my way to gym this evening I had this sense of complete peace. The sun was in my eyes but not so much that it'd be annoying. I'd turned off the radio and it just seemed as if everything was right with the world. It was a clear day, even with the minimal haze going on here in Brunei (compared to KL of course). The orange horizon, the quiet in my car and the thought of me on my way to my beloved workout place was just pure bliss. Like soaking in calm cool waters on a hot day. Strange how being away just makes all pain disappear. In a sense today was the best day I've had since I've been back.
Then having a very nice dinner with a friend. Stuffing myself till I was ready to burst. Realizing that I'm happy being alone. Finally coming to terms with it. Ah, the innocence of this.
But I come crashing and burning back to reality with just a few words. Funny how that happens. CRASHING BACK TO REALITY. Again I realize I am still not immune. Oh, how I loath these back and forth retches my heart makes, jerking me back into memories I don't want to remember.
I fell in love broken everytime. B-R-O-K-E-N. Missing pieces I'd given away so long ago, finding each time that a piece might come back to haunt me. I've had enough of that. I'm waiting this time. Waiting for a real whirlwind to sweep me off. I've never really been in love. I'm so young to be so world-weary.
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