Random Thought Bubbles

After countless snoozes and a phone call, I am finally awake. I remember another dream. It's not exactly strange but I like to recall dreams when I can since I don't remember many.

This one had me and my family at some sort of resort. But it didn't really look like one. I just knew it was. We were having a good time when suddenly there's a chocolate shortage and that's why the electricity will go out because the chocolate dependent generator that also doubles as a chocolate figurines maker is going to go bust. So my brother is trying to fix the problem but can't since there isn't anymore chocolate. I have to give up my one and only favourite chocolate figurine that I keep locked up in my safe because the last chocolate figurine that the generator made is more caramel than chocolate and that same chocolate has been running through the machine too many times. I had to save the day!

Suddenly I'm sitting at a table with Racine and we're berboraking but I see a very large beach snake (that's what I was thinking in my dream, since we were sitting by the sea under a very big coconut tree) coming toward us. I tell her to stand on her chair to prevent from being bitten. I do the same but cannot seem to stand still thus attracting a whole lot of beach snake attention. It first tries to bite my butt, misses but catches my hand instead. There I am screaming in pain but not feeling it (it's a strange feeling really) and I go running to my father. On my way to my dad I bump into the very able chef (who is supposed to be very good with killing beach snakes, especially the kind that's stuck to my hand) but he doesn't help me, just stares at me and the snake hanging from my hand. My brother sees me but is still very busy with the chocolate generator thingy however has time to stop to say, "That's a pygmy python!" As if I really needed to know that... In the end I cannot find my dad so I try to remove the offensive snake by myself. After trying many times and getting rebitten in dozens of places on my arm I am able to remove it with the help of the housekeeping lady who brought a green bag (green again...). So now I am trying to bring the snake to a zoo so it doesn't hurt anyone anymore and I'm getting into the car but the snake breaks lose one last time and catches a hold of my very bloody arm... my dad pops up with the camera and goes "OK, take photo, take photo! Faster, faster" but nothing happens because the camera's run out of battery. I am then thinking, why does this always happen to me? (as if a snake has bitten me before... I've never been bitten). Then my alarm goes off...

By the way, Marilyn v7.0 is up and running! I woke up this morning feeling very mended. I tested all my chinks and pried at some of my wounds and I'm fine! Unbreaking process completed! 100% healed! WooHOO! And I'm off to the gym now. Hehe! I know it's going to be a good day today.

I spent most of today sleeping on the couch with the TV on and now I can't sleep. Then again I'm not even trying to sleep. My brain is tired from fighting with myself and all I really want to do is leave this place (funny since I'm whining about having to leave it too... humans... sigh). But there's no one to leave it with so I'm back to the drawing board with a vengence. I've exhausted the remote control for what it can give me and that still leaves much to be desired. I don't think I've held more than 10 min worth of proper conversation for the whole day. It's starting to get as if I'm back in vista... NOOO!!! Blah!

So I get online at 5 in the morning when my brother is snoring away happily (or what appears to be happy snoring to me at this time of morning) in his comfortable bed. There's no one I want to chat to online so I'm stuck with surfing. I click around i-am-bored.com for a bit but cannot find entertainment. Then I begin to wonder what it might feel like to have an acid trip, not that I was planning on trying it. You know, just about the psychadelic this and that. I type 'tripping acid dreams' into google.

After clicking around for a bit I come across this site,

http://growabrain.typepad.com/growabrain/drugs_lsd/.

It appears to be some guy's blog on a whole lot of other things besides LSD but it doesn't really have real words in it... just a bunch of links and things. If you're bored like I am, anything can be a reprieve. The following two links from that guys page seems to be interesting - 'Visual Overdose, Energisers and other Crazy Images from Eyvind Almquist of Virtual-Exp Psy and Java-Fuxation and many other trippy voyages from Entropy8zuper, the people who brought us Venus Trap'.

Yep, so if you're bored click on something on that page. The 'Dreams' collection seems quite possibly boredom busting-able too.

And since I was bored I also looked up some of the things that were in my dream. The coloured bits are what applied to me.

For the word EMBRACE - Dreaming that you are embracing your lover, foretells of quarrels, disagreements, and accusations arising from infidelity. Dreaming that you embrace a stranger means of an unwelcome guest. Dreaming that you are embracing relatives means their sickness and unhappiness.

For the word MOUNTAIN - Seeing mountains in your dream means many major obstacles and challenges that you have to overcome. If you are on top of the mountain, then it means that you have achieved and realized your goals. Alternatively, mountains indicates a higher realm of consciousness, knowledge, and spiritual truth. Dreaming that you are climbing a mountain means your determination and ambition. Dreaming that you fall off a mountain, suggests that you are in a hurry to succeed without thoroughly thinking about your path to success. It also means that you have a tendency to give up or escape from demanding situations.

For the word ROAD - Seeing a road in your dream indicates your sense of direction and pursuit of your goals. Seeing a winding, curvy, or bumpy road in your dream, suggests that you will experience many obstacles and setbacks in achieving your goals. You may be met with unexpected difficulties. If the road is dark, then it reflects the darker or more frightening choices which you have made or are making. Seeing a smooth road bordered by green trees and flowers indicates a steady progress and steady climb up the social ladder. If the road is straight and narrow, then it means that your path to success is going according as planned. Seeing an unknown road in your dream means that you new project will cause more grief than it is worth and a waste of time. Dreaming that a threatening creature is on a road, parallels a hostile situation/person you are encountering in your waking life. It is an obstacle that you need to overcome, no matter how intimidating the situation or person may appear.

For the word CAR - Dreaming that you are driving a car means your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. Whether you are driving the car or a passenger, is indicative of of your active role or passive role in your life. If you are in the backseat of the car, then it indicates that you are putting yourself down and are allowing others to take over. This may be a result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life. Dreaming that your car is overheating, suggests that you are expending too much energy and need to slow down or run the risk of becoming burnt out. You may be taking on more than you can handle. It is time to take a breather. Seeing a parked car in your dream, suggests that you need to turn your efforts and energies elsewhere. You may be needlessly spending your energy in a fruitless endeavor. Alternatively, a parked car my symbolize your need to stop and enjoy life. Dreaming that you are almost hit by a car, suggests that your lifestyle, beliefs or goals may be in conflict with another's. It may also be symbolic of a jolting experience or injured pride. Dreaming that you are unable to roll up the windows of your car, suggests that you are showing some hesitation and reservation about the direction that you are taking in life or the path that you have chosen.

For the word LESBIAN - Dreaming that you are a lesbian (but you are not in your waking life) means a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and passion. You are comfortable with your sexuality and femininity. If, in your dream you abhor the notion of lesbianism, then it represents your fears and rejection of parts of your own sexuality. If you are a lesbian in your waking life, then the dream is simply a reflection of your own self. (so I guess dreaming about being a lesbian when you're not is a good thing. Haha!)

For the word T-SHIRT - Seeing or wearing a T-shirt in your dream, suggests that you need to take it easy and relax. (but what if it's a green t-shirt?)

I think I'll go to sleep now. Finally.

I wanted to blog about this before but completely forgot about it until tonight. I'm so bored I think my brain is melting and oozing out my ears while I rot like the couchpotato that I am.

I never thought I was even a little homophobic until I met this girl the other day. She's bi and that's fine by me but I realized that I am extremely straight when I finally found out. It's not like she introduced herself as bi but ya... haha... I found out. I was a little more dressed up that night since my friends and I were going out and she needed a ride home. So we were sending her home and I was in the back seat with her. I had just found out and at first I thought, "So what? Peoples' sexual identities are their own business. I don't care about that." But the thing was, when she got into the car I did care! And she turned to look at me full on and went, "You look very nice today!" and a few other things (I felt quite uncomfortable being checked out by another girl). I thanked her for the compliment, somewhat hesitantly since it was my first time getting looked over by a girl (maybe I was being overly sensitive... but I usually don't get the wrong signals... even when it's from another girl... I guess. Haha!).

I always wondered what it was like to be with a girl, and always thought that maybe I am bi too... (thought it was maybe a deep dark fetish I never knew about). haha... I don't have to wonder anymore! And I didn't even need to try it out either, which is excellent, because it would've been quite embarrassing for all parties since I'd run out of the room regretting even wanting to try it. Ugh... *SHIVERS*!

Now I think I understand how a guy feels when he meets a gay fellow who appears to be showing some sort of 'interest'. I wouldn't say I was apprehensive but I definitely wasn't comfortable. I think I would've been fine if she didn't check me out like that (then again I'd be uncomfortable too if some guy checked me out like that). I think I wouldn't mind having her as a friend but it's a little freaky when she seems to be showing more than just friendly interest. Haha! Ah well. Gotta learn to accept everyone.

My brother just woke me up from my first dream in a long time. It wasn't the best dream to have but I didn't want to wake up. I'm not sure if I'm sad or just a little disorientated from being woken up to help him moves cars. It was one of those weird dreams that don't make sense but make sense because it contains all the bits of my life that I'm afraid to face. Already the fragments are dissolving into thin air as I type this. I only remember the bits that I don't want to type about. Sigh. I didn't think I'd really be fighting shadow demons in my sleep... it was just a figure of speak... oh well...

My dream had a lot of cars in it... a lot of different people I haven't seen in ages... and a lot of people I don't remember or don't think I even know. And at the end, before my brother woke me up I was in a car going up a mountain road (It was a kancil... I think I do miss KL... but just don't know it. It looks just like Jebbrine's but she wasn't driving it). But I wanted the driver to stop for people I loved. I even tried jumping out of the car... but she didn't stop. So all of them people I loved had to rough it out walking/running/complaining to the top of the very big mountain... on which seemingly stood a very important grey building that we had to make our way to no matter what (and I don't know why the driver didn't stop for the rest... she was supposed to. She kept driving on as if she couldn't hear me). Just before that scene I was lying in someone's arms thinking how we don't have a future and then getting on the mountain road together but he walked off faster so he was ahead of me, that was why I got into the car. Sigh... even in my dreams it happens. I should learn how to vivid dream. I was only able to control what was happening in my dream only once in my life. Now THAT was interesting. Haha.

Every time I tell people I dream in colour but that the people don't usually have faces they think it's freaky. I guess it would be if I didn't know who these people were in my dream (for some reason I just know who they are everytime and if they are supposed to have a different face from what it is in real life I know too but I can't make out the dream features this fellow got as a face in my dream. Go figure... then again dreams aren't supposed to make perfect sense). But the thing is I don't remember very much what they look like in the dream anyway... most of the time the dream frame is like it is on the tube... it catches only certain angles of other people and most of the time the angle is that of a side of the face or a body part or the body without the head like on Cow and Chicken. Yeah... still freaky I know but I don't dream much anyway. However, I remember silly details in dreams like clothes or shoes or even car type. Haha...

I'm feeling better. Maybe I'll go back to sleep, or have breakfast now. It's too early in the morning to feel down.

I dream in colour but I don't dream in faces. I dreamt of your green shirt but I dreamt of your face too this morning.