Random Thought Bubbles

Tonight sleep evades me,
I lay on my bed
Staring up at the ceiling,
My body in a twist,
My fingers in my hair,
And my thoughts...

I pull my legs into myself
Under these sheets.
Quietly, I let the waves wash
Over and through me.
Allow the silence to silence those voices
I thought I'd stopped hearing.

I dig my nails into my skin
Just to feel something
Else.
It's a papercut wound I'm nursing.
Not deep enough,
But just enough.

I wrap my arms around myself,
Run a finger down my neck.
My thoughts float like wisps of smoke,
Tendrils curling tight, choking me.
A rush of cold I don't understand.
I am trapped.

I hope I don't remember
Anything in the morning.
No morning-after awkwardness
I don't need.
Let these thoughts implode,
Like the fire I shouldn't feed.

Voice, touch, taste, smell, sight.
Senses remember longer than I do.
Every flash sends a shiver
Down my spine.
I fold into myself, trying
Desperately to snuff them out.