Random Thought Bubbles

The hair show thing on Sunday was nice. But I realized how inadequate I am. Haha. Not tall enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not even remotely model material. Very self-esteem blowing. I'm glad it was only for a day. I don't think I could take anymore of that. And pro-models seem to have very cool names like Vera and Zuka (Zuka's got legs that seem to go on forever). Walking around isn't really easy too. I look half-dead if I don't smile and we were told to look as bitchy and 'lan si' as possible as if the world owed us money. Very difficult when I don't feel very all that and the boots I'm wearing are 5/6, squashing my size 7 feet and sacrificing my fourth and fifth toes while I try to look damn good and damn comfortable in them. Amelia looked really good in her sack-like dress... and with her make-up on you'd never even recognize her. Van Ren looked really good in her technicolour bra too... Lavinia was, as always, hot in that brown ultra-small dress that kept riding up. So that leaves Li Na and yours truely. Judge when you see the pictures below. Haha!

A day in a life of a model is alot of waiting and waiting and waiting... and more waiting. Van Ren, Li Na and I got there at the stipulated 9.30am to get ready for the 9pm show. No one was there, not even the stylist. Then we went for breakfast and took our sweet time. When we got back we met Lavinia and some of the other models and the stylist, William. Then we waited. Finally we were fitted with clothes. I was supposed to wear a blue embellished corset (in which I could hardly breathe) but that was swapped with what I'm wearing in the pictures (sad case, because the corset looked so much better) because the girl before me didn't fit anything else that was left so they let her have the corset. Then we had a dry run rehearsal and walked a few more times. Next, we had our hair redone and any last minute changes in between. Then make-up, then more waiting and waiting, then rehearsals. It was generally a boring day. For a less than one minute walk, a whole day is a long time to wait :P At least I got to do something like this once. Doubt I'll ever get another chance at this rate. Hehe.

And congratulations to Van Ren for getting asked to be an in-house model :) Long live the mushroom culture!

Pictures time! There are more from Lavinia and some videos from Steph. I shall post them when I get them. Van's camera went bonkers on the day so ya... oh well.

Before - The mushroom twins

After - The vamped up mushroom twins... It's amazing what make-up can do

Don't ask about the dots... I think they were aiming between 'Cats' and 'Memoirs of a Geisha' :P Taken in Zouk's toilet. Haha!

This is what Li Na and I wore... yes, we know... hence the cage scenario

The ever sexy Lavinia :)

Just before going out. I looked so bad I just cut myself out. Haha. The model (Vera) in the middle wasn't wearing anything besides the brown knitted top and nipple stickers under that jacket

Li Na trying to do 'garang'

When in doubt, better to pose silly if ya can't look good, sexy or gaya. The model beside me is Zuka... she's the one with ever long legs.

Smiling is always better... :)

Minus Amelia - who was with the other set of models

Just before the show - I like my camera phone. Taken in darkness and still clear. Muahaha!!

Just having two pro models in a picture can make it look so much more like a magazine spread. Haha. But I look like a Japanese vampire... sigh...

I am ugly in this shell
That I've filled with what I
Thought I wanted.
I've draped my shoulders with
Honey-coloured memories,
Yellow with age and decay.
Painting my face because I
Am not what the world accepts
Superficially, I am fine.

He prefers to disappear
I prefer to pretend.
It's time to move away
Into a new town, city, place.
Some other reality to call 'Home',
Some other voice to answer,
Some other monster to tame.
But always, a past
To run away from.

Tonight sleep evades me,
I lay on my bed
Staring up at the ceiling,
My body in a twist,
My fingers in my hair,
And my thoughts...

I pull my legs into myself
Under these sheets.
Quietly, I let the waves wash
Over and through me.
Allow the silence to silence those voices
I thought I'd stopped hearing.

I dig my nails into my skin
Just to feel something
Else.
It's a papercut wound I'm nursing.
Not deep enough,
But just enough.

I wrap my arms around myself,
Run a finger down my neck.
My thoughts float like wisps of smoke,
Tendrils curling tight, choking me.
A rush of cold I don't understand.
I am trapped.

I hope I don't remember
Anything in the morning.
No morning-after awkwardness
I don't need.
Let these thoughts implode,
Like the fire I shouldn't feed.

Voice, touch, taste, smell, sight.
Senses remember longer than I do.
Every flash sends a shiver
Down my spine.
I fold into myself, trying
Desperately to snuff them out.

My Bag Cake

Ling Wei and I are colour coordinated. hehe!

The only two guys who really stuck to the theme

The girls at the party - minus Steph, Lina, Van Ren, Jebbrine, Amelia... (I hope I didn't forget anyone... hehe... always risky listing out these things out...)

KKB bedmates... hehe... Amelia, Racine, ME

It's always good to have Twister at a party. That's Chern Woo and Terry on the mat.

After clubbing at some place called Poppy. The fella who took it for us kept on pressing the zoom button instead of the correct one and still messed it up. From left to right - Racine, Michelle, Gowri (who looked really nice I have to say), ME, Ling Wei, Van Ren, Lina (it's her top that I'm wearing... haha...)

The guys and me after clubbing. From left to right - Kah Heng, Bryan, ME, Sheng Kai

Best photo of the night taken just outside Poppy. Bryan took it. Left to right - Ling Wei, Gowri, Michelle, ME, Amelia, Stephanie, Racine.