Random Thought Bubbles

Ramblings on of someone still finding the way

The days are passing by like rain on a window-pane. Sometimes so fast I barely recall what I did after I woke up to the new sunrise. Sometimes so slowly I think I've slept for an eternity. Today is one of those slow days. Nothing happened (besides dance practise and winning a volleyball match). Everything as uneventful and unexperienced as ever (besides the aforementioned activities). Actually I don't even feel like blogging. Just another blue day. I've started studying for my final exams, finally. The boredom of everyday got to me. And again I am left waiting for someone. Ah well, I've begun to really take the phrase 'I should not expect anything from anyone' more seriously, because it is true that it is better to not have expectations and be completely surprised when someone does something for you, actually even when the person has already promised you something as well. Too much room for disappointment. I'm a softy when it comes to making an internal stand. Need to work on that...

Today I am a blue sheep feeling lonely, standing in a noisy sheep crowd.

Hello everyone. Today I am pleased to announce that I have figured out how to put that blasted picture into my profile. I know this is no cause for big celebration but I am particularly happy with myself right now. I just came back from watching 'In Good Company', deciding that it was a good movie to watch since it's got Scarlett Johanssen in it and that guy from the 70s show is always good for a laugh. Didn't see/hear/read any reviews on it but hey, a focus feature produced film should be good for the RM10 I'm paying. But why do people still go to the movies when they can get a DVD for the same price? Why do I go? It's not as if I don't have a good enough computer and it's not that I value or appreciate the sound system in the cinema at all. The things we do for the sake of escaping the oily fingers of boredom.

I've quickly devoured 'Animal Farm' and the 'Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy'... onward to '1984'! I think authors shouldn't put dates to their books, no matter how good they are. It just gives room for critics to judge them ever so carelessly. Although I must say 1984 must've been a long way away when George Orwell wrote the book. I'm just about a third through the pages and already it's reminding me of 'Brave New World' by Aldous Huxley. If anyone feels like reading a scary revolution, read either 1984 or Brave New World. Both are equally morbid in warning the reader of the dangers of evolving too quickly in technology. I still say I'm a literary idiot. Now I'm also ignorant in politics. I never could really define socialist, communist, totalist, and all those other words so ruthlessly used by politicians and economists and the general populous who pass opinions and impose their judgments on others.

I might be a sheep but I'm also a smart sheep.

Trying to be pretty Posted by Hello

So I learnt to add a picture today. But failed to put it in my profile. And I've typed this 3 times and it gets shorter each time. There's a problem with making spaces between paragraphs. I think I will start typing without paragraphs. The picture above was during chinese new year, and I cropped out my brother, only in the interest of putting this beautiful picture into my profile. However, I failed. Ah well, one baby step at a time. I think I shall also learn how to change the layout for this blog. Maybe add one of those counter things, just for the heck of it. I need to learn as quickly as possible, before I get bored of this particular bit of technology. But I was never good with the HTML. No big dilemmas wrecking my brain. I'm just wondering what's for breakfast. And I've ceased to understand current situations beyond my needs.

So I've come to be a blogger. And this is only my second blog in one day and it's already irritating me. For some reason, I can update the bloody thing but no one will be able to see it, which I don't mind but would still like people to have the chance to see what I feel like complaining about some days. So many things we'd like to have but not need, like being taller for instance, or having some sort of skill to show off with. Ah well, wishful thinking. Hopefully I can get this thing to work. Otherwise, this will be another one of those things I'll be leaving around, which wouldn't be surprising in the least. The other thing I don't like about the internet is nasioncom. I can bet the other users can empathize with me. It's the freaking hare in the tortoise and hare race. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow till it's completely stopped.

You know what are amazing things? New objects, be they soap, toothpaste or shoes... anything. I just opened another bar of soap and felt the wholeness of a new bar during my shower. Funny how so little amuses me, and I am glad that they do. It's the same with books. Don't you just feel that it's a new year with the smell of new books? Pity you who don't.

I just had my hair cut 2 days ago. I'm still not used to the lightheadedness and absence of hair further below my shoulders. As always I had my pre-haircut reservations prior to the fellow putting his scissors on me. And as always, I didn't exactly get the kind of haircut that I explained so painstakingly before the scissors was laid on my precious hair. These are the pains of a person that cannot speak mandarin or cantonese or any kind of chinese dialect trying to talk to some guy who hopefully can understand what is coming out of my mouth at those crucial moments. In any case, the result is not disastrous and I cannot say that I am unhappy with it :) Although I must say I might not go back there again. I still love my hairdresser in Brunei too much.

Today I'm so bored I think I might be growing roots right where I'm sitting, right now. I'm so bored I've decided to start a blog when blogging is going out of style. But that's me, I refuse to be part of a fad... however, I'll gladly be part of a dying breed. Never believed in myself being consistent enough to continue anything I started, so here's hoping :)

It's been a while since I've gone out into the world with the sole intention of experiencing everything, breaking some rules, going somewhere I'm not supposed to be. It's also been a while since the fire of life burnt with a rage. I've grown mellow even before the grey fingers of age got to me.

What did I do today? I read 'The Hitch hiker's Guide to the Galaxy', I'm halfway through 'Animal Farm' and I just realized how ignorant I've become about politics. But politics never interested me anyway - too many lies, and too much telling people what they want to hear when what should be done is too difficult to voice. Besides the sudden realization that I am the equivalent of a literary idiot and I can no longer write the kind of poetry I used to, I think I've been beaten down by idling my time away on such pursuits as downloading wallpaper after wallpaper, anime that I'm not going to watch and watching so much TV I feel I'm more of a plant than anything. The quality of local tv leaves much to be desired. I don't mind, people should be outside anyway.

I'm hardly shouting, screaming or thrashing through life. I think I'm partly floundering, partly drowning, partly trying to figure out what put me there in the first place. And it's always nicer to have someone to flounder, partly drown and wonder about the intricacies of our existence with. But another day I'm left without such a companion, or with such companions as those that leave me wishing they'd just flounder away and drown, though only temporarily.

Time for a shower... let the falling water wash me off these thoughts

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