Random Thought Bubbles

i just came back from someone's 21st birthday

freeee wineeee

ahahha

no one to share the feeling with... sigh...

so i shall write instead

the room moves. and the tongue is free like a snake in cold water. i'm not sure of what i'm saying but i don't quite care. and then people seem to laugh at what i'm saying. maybe they're laughing at me instead of at me. but i don't quite care. haha. ah well. when it's a time when you want to share but can't. talking is the only way.

i wonder what goes on in the sober world at times like these.

in the in between time of quiet. there are moments when i remember the past. and then i am a little melancholic. but that passes...

i miss alot of things. but they, each of them, will have to be let go off. if i am to change.

love love love. where have you gone?

i remember the smell, the sigh, the sounds, the touch, the feelings. the intensity.

i miss those moments. i miss you. i miss all of that. but i have to move.

and i am moving.

sometimes it is hard. because it all fit into place. why i had to wrong i do not know. why i had to replace so frantically i do not know. but now, i know there was too much still stuck in resentment to be able to go on. i have not so much of that now. because i am free. maybe i was holding myself hostage too much to realize that i had no reigns. there were no chains holding me but the ones that i held myself in. all just a material illusion i thought i was caught up in.

good night sweet love. love that i did not understand. hello freedom. freedom i learnt at such a high price.

it would be so nice to come home to someone...