just had dinner. just came back from hospital. just feel tired. just feel like falling asleep. just feel like falling.
just feel like sharing the day with someone. not because i need to. but it would be nice.
just feel like... hmmm... too many things to feel like doing. a thick congealed mass of feel-likes.
maybe i shouldn't have been named marilyn. a namesake could also be a problem. nah, i'm just looking for excuses for a lifetime of bad decisions that have carved me a wrong shade deeper than i'd like to admit.
still feeling a little as if i'm not quite here. no one else to project my insecurities on so i flounder in daily existence looking for somewhere to validate or devalidate myself. and then fluctuate between the two wondering what the hell happened to my roots. i constantly uproot myself so that i might feel a little more alive. staying valid or invalid kinda bores me i suppose. i have to constantly stop and question the position. and then i get all confused and lash out in all directions until valid becomes invalid or vice versa. that would be when a paper storm has either exploded or been put back into place... i guess.
the more i typed that last paragraph the less i understood it. haha. i should start constantly questioning my actions instead. that would be far more useful.
isn't it annoying how i almost never have nothing to say about myself?
don't feel like sharing my day with anyone here. so you have to suffer, silly reader =) but people like reading/watching other people's sorrows, no?
nothing very interesting happened today anyway... =P
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Marilyn
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