Random Thought Bubbles

Are you there, God? It's me, Marilyn.

Please let it be that everyone passes the exams.
Please let it be that the past year questions repeat
Please let it be that a sudden rush of information will rain on everyone
Please let it be that everything will be okay.

everytime i go for exams i always picture myself dropping dead right at the door to the exam hall. and i have a sense of impending doom. oh no, oh no, oh no.

experiencing dissociative symptoms...

floating, not quite opaque, not quite here, not quite in focus.

i'm a study in borderline traits... makes remembering the dsm so much easier.

i need a holiday. and something more fulfilling. and i need to pass this bloody exam. at this rate i think i might just fail it...

i think i'm ready now. that's at least good to know. the heart no longer does loop-the-loops and dreams no long plague. come to think of it i hardly have dreams now. must be all the books. if only i could study in my sleep. that would save alot of time. i miss the good times.

i held a baby the other day. i've always been afraid of babies because they're so tiny and so vulnerable i feel i might corrupt them by just holding them. and i also keep thinking that they break easily. but the mom just said could you hold her please while the other kid gets seen.

couldn't say no, right...

everything so tiny and eyes so blue.

and a warm little quiet bundle in my arms. i can see why parents would want to protect the hell out of their kid. the world becomes so much more of a dangerous jungle.