Random Thought Bubbles

Ramblings on of someone still finding the way

Happy Valentine's Day! The exclamation mark betrays my need to be sombre and melancholy but let's not be depressing. There will be no special dinner or flowers or chocolates or candy or teddy bears for me this year, but that's okay. I didn't get anything special for valentine's last year either. Haha... still bitter but that's okay too. Bygones. I'm stuck doing the selective powerpoint presentation for congenital asphyxia :P All random ramblings...

Two birthdays have passed. Mr. Lee Kah Heng and Ms. See Lina. Pictures Lina's in a moment. Fondue party and drinking party... MMMmmMMmmMMm... Haha! Van Ren was gracious enough to lend the use of her den for the party as well as the use of her liqour cabinet (it was full of XO). Van was to lure the unsuspecting (or rather suspicious) Lina to her house on the whim that Kah Heng, Van Ren and her were supposed to go watch a movie. So there we were hiding out in the darkened den trying to light the 20 candles (yes, 20 not 2) on the cake and to be quiet as Van Ren lead Lina upstairs and then downstairs again outside the house to allow us the time to walk out of the den just as Lina walks back in, thinking how sluggishly slow Mr. Kah Heng the designated driver is taking to get them. I'm not quite sure whether Lina was more surprised or more expecting the surprise, but no matter, we had a good time playing 'Ring of Fire' (Van introduced the very complicated drinking game with cards that one can only understand after a few rounds after which lots of drink will have impaired one's capacity to comprehend even the simplest of commands). The big loser is the fella who has to drink from a big bowl that's been filled with any kind of drink by three other people before the unlucky 4th girl/guy.

Lina had to write her initials with her butt every time she took a drink (it never gets boring :P) but since she can drink like any Punjabi can we didn't quite get her pissed drunk (not even close!). Ling Wei on the other hand turned a bright beetroot. With the green shirt she was wearing she looked just like a Christmas tree ready to puke (which she did, and turned a whiter shade of pale thereafter). The rest of the story is in the pictures. Enjoy! There were lots soooo I only put up some of them. The theme was green or yellow but the message didn't quite get across to everyone so yep... And we got her a pendant... but I haven't a picture of that.

The cake... hahaha

Lina and the guys

Lina and the girls... she's stooping, she's not THAT short. Hehe!

Big Loser #1 - Step 1 on how to drink a big bowl of drink - Face your fear

Step 2 - Try your best

Step 3 - Give the rest to your boyfriend

After the big bowl - Notice the redness

I find this a particular funny picture of Lina and Ling Wei

Big Loser #2 - He was on the floor after this one

The Green Twins Plus Ling Wei in Red

My drinking buddy

Attempting to look scrumptious - FAILED!

the RING OF FIRE!

The only other photo with Van in it

Big Loser #3

No need to explain :P

Awww...


Happy Hai Fon :)

Sheng Kai's lucky 10secs of the day

Ah Moo and ME!

Finally the last photo... adding one photo at a time is very tedious. This thing just won't let me do it 5 at a time :P Blah!

Life is getting very boring. As a whole it is also becoming very empty. Due to the lack of Astro at my place I also have nothing to watch and since I've heard that it is risky to use Limewire I'm stuck with the sluggish speed of downloading entertainment by Bittorrent... I am also blogging for the sake of blogging. Haha. Topics discussed among the group I go around with are also getting very repetitive. And since speed dating is the nearest to any level of interesting I shall tell you a little bit about it.

While on the bus back from the Spastic Children's Centre, a bunch of us got on the topic of speed dating, since Valentine's is coming up and all 4 of us will not be guaranteed a date. None of us knew much about it but it appears speed dating exists in Malaysia because someone read something about it, it also appears to be quite fun and in all appearances it appears to be a good way to meet people. A morbid way to look at it would be that it is similar to sitting for ospe because each station is 5min and you gotta pencil a tick mark beside a bunch of questions in response to what you think about the fella sitting opposite you after asking some questions of course. After the whole session you hand in your score sheets and hopefully receive some sms's regarding matches made during the whole ordeal. You get e-mail addresses or phone numbers and you get to choose if you want to arrange a date with that particular tall dark stranger.

I suppose with the myriad of choices at IMU, speed dating does look very promising. Haha. But with a requirement list (recently made) like mine I doubt anyone would pass. Let's see... the perfect man: is freaking good-looking, bloody rich, very smart, someone I can talk with, can dance, can play an instrument well, can write good poetry, would go shopping with me, is comfortable to be with, is straight, available. If any one guy were to pass the above list, they'd probably be gay or unavailable. Sigh... I realize the shallowness in my list but I'm just setting a bar. I must get out of the cocky guy pattern. (but a guy with all the above is bound to be cocky though... hahaha... ah well... can't have everything :P).

The Hallmark holiday no one single likes to pass is coming... sigh...

The hair show thing on Sunday was nice. But I realized how inadequate I am. Haha. Not tall enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not even remotely model material. Very self-esteem blowing. I'm glad it was only for a day. I don't think I could take anymore of that. And pro-models seem to have very cool names like Vera and Zuka (Zuka's got legs that seem to go on forever). Walking around isn't really easy too. I look half-dead if I don't smile and we were told to look as bitchy and 'lan si' as possible as if the world owed us money. Very difficult when I don't feel very all that and the boots I'm wearing are 5/6, squashing my size 7 feet and sacrificing my fourth and fifth toes while I try to look damn good and damn comfortable in them. Amelia looked really good in her sack-like dress... and with her make-up on you'd never even recognize her. Van Ren looked really good in her technicolour bra too... Lavinia was, as always, hot in that brown ultra-small dress that kept riding up. So that leaves Li Na and yours truely. Judge when you see the pictures below. Haha!

A day in a life of a model is alot of waiting and waiting and waiting... and more waiting. Van Ren, Li Na and I got there at the stipulated 9.30am to get ready for the 9pm show. No one was there, not even the stylist. Then we went for breakfast and took our sweet time. When we got back we met Lavinia and some of the other models and the stylist, William. Then we waited. Finally we were fitted with clothes. I was supposed to wear a blue embellished corset (in which I could hardly breathe) but that was swapped with what I'm wearing in the pictures (sad case, because the corset looked so much better) because the girl before me didn't fit anything else that was left so they let her have the corset. Then we had a dry run rehearsal and walked a few more times. Next, we had our hair redone and any last minute changes in between. Then make-up, then more waiting and waiting, then rehearsals. It was generally a boring day. For a less than one minute walk, a whole day is a long time to wait :P At least I got to do something like this once. Doubt I'll ever get another chance at this rate. Hehe.

And congratulations to Van Ren for getting asked to be an in-house model :) Long live the mushroom culture!

Pictures time! There are more from Lavinia and some videos from Steph. I shall post them when I get them. Van's camera went bonkers on the day so ya... oh well.

Before - The mushroom twins

After - The vamped up mushroom twins... It's amazing what make-up can do


Don't ask about the dots... I think they were aiming between 'Cats' and 'Memoirs of a Geisha' :P Taken in Zouk's toilet. Haha!


This is what Li Na and I wore... yes, we know... hence the cage scenario


The ever sexy Lavinia :)


Just before going out. I looked so bad I just cut myself out. Haha. The model (Vera) in the middle wasn't wearing anything besides the brown knitted top and nipple stickers under that jacket


Li Na trying to do 'garang'


When in doubt, better to pose silly if ya can't look good, sexy or gaya. The model beside me is Zuka... she's the one with ever long legs.


Smiling is always better... :)


Minus Amelia - who was with the other set of models


Just before the show - I like my camera phone. Taken in darkness and still clear. Muahaha!!


Just having two pro models in a picture can make it look so much more like a magazine spread. Haha. But I look like a Japanese vampire... sigh...

I'm not in much of a mood for anything today. I'm lonely again. I crave company. My hair's much more copper than it was before I went for the free hair cut and dye. I'm behind schedule in studying for renal. I don't quite care. Sigh... I need love in my life, besides having friends. Too many things become meaningless. It's a sad fact. I'm happy being single but I'd rather have someone sweep me off my feet. Where is a tall, handsome stranger when you need one?

I'm excited about the hairshow thing on Sunday. Only because I get to pretend I'm someone else for a day. It's also nice having someone wash my hair at a salon. I can see why females like spending a day at a salon (although sitting in a chair for so long is quite tiresome). I feel like chopping off my hair... like I did the last time I thought it was time for a change (in more ways than just my hairstyle). I hope I get funky clothes to walk around in. My hair's just the same as it always has been. At least I get to hide behind my hair, clothes and make-up (assuming I'll have lots of make-up on... haha...).

Sigh... I'm waiting for the lover after you...

I am ugly in this shell
That I've filled with what I
Thought I wanted.
I've draped my shoulders with
Honey-coloured memories,
Yellow with age and decay.
Painting my face because I
Am not what the world accepts
Superficially, I am fine.

He prefers to disappear
I prefer to pretend.
It's time to move away
Into a new town, city, place.
Some other reality to call 'Home',
Some other voice to answer,
Some other monster to tame.
But always, a past
To run away from.

11.1.06

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Tonight sleep evades me,
I lay on my bed
Staring up at the ceiling,
My body in a twist,
My fingers in my hair,
And my thoughts...

I pull my legs into myself
Under these sheets.
Quietly, I let the waves wash
Over and through me.
Allow the silence to silence those voices
I thought I'd stopped hearing.

I dig my nails into my skin
Just to feel something
Else.
It's a papercut wound I'm nursing.
Not deep enough,
But just enough.

I wrap my arms around myself,
Run a finger down my neck.
My thoughts float like wisps of smoke,
Tendrils curling tight, choking me.
A rush of cold I don't understand.
I am trapped.

I hope I don't remember
Anything in the morning.
No morning-after awkwardness
I don't need.
Let these thoughts implode,
Like the fire I shouldn't feed.

Voice, touch, taste, smell, sight.
Senses remember longer than I do.
Every flash sends a shiver
Down my spine.
I fold into myself, trying
Desperately to snuff them out.

I'm suddenly wrenched back into a darkness. After all that's happened I'm still in this space. I can't explain to myself why. And everytime this happens I battle with my consciousness, reasoning with my self that I'm just making this all up. It will take a long time to stop. It will take a big bang to change. It's going take more than just thunder and lightning, no other's voice or touch. What am I to do? I don't understand how it can grow without so much as a little acknowledgement. I am trying to shun it everyday but it's still there, laughing at me because no matter what I do to erase it, it's still tugging at my heartstrings. I am a relunctant puppet to it. Days go by when I let it run over me like a tidal wave. I am helpless in it's turbulence. I am still in pieces. Sigh... I am still waiting, even though I thought I stopped a long time ago.

I thought it was dead... every time you came around I let go of another slice of my black black heart.

I P O D

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I have a black nano! Haha! 21st birthday present from Bernard. If you look into the screen, you can see my phone too, hee hee! I also got 6 shirts and 3 pants from my shopping spree in Singapore too... wah... super birthday indeed!!!

It's just after my birthday.

I have to say it's one of the best ones I've had ever.

Last year I was surprised by two cakes, got taken to KL Tower for dinner, got flowers and got a really nice sari and I turned twenty. This year, I got a cake in the shape of a bag (boy was I surprised to see my cake when I celebrated my birthday in Brunei), surprised with a cake at lecture (I actually didn't think that was going to happen since I already was doing a party at my place... no need for anyone to try surprise me with a party... hehe... too many of those I suppose), had a really nice Hawaiian themed party at my place (to celebrate both my and Brandon's birthday) and then went clubbing at a new place (had a really good time!), got a green and yellow bikini from Topshop, a new camera phone, an ipod soon (hehe...), a sports bra, lots of perfume, several stuffed toys, a book on how to mix shots, a bottle of wine, a novel, a bag, a wallet and several other things. Again I got to celebrate my birthday twice, which was excellent and again I realize how grateful I am to have my family and the friends that I do. I guess I can't say more than that. I had the most amount of people over at my place ever and though my place is still a mess now, I can't complain. Hehe! It was GREAT! Although suddenly deciding to cut the party short and go clubbing was a completely impromptu and most of the guys didn't go was certainly a shame because the party was still fun when it stopped, I'm glad I did decide to go clubbing anyway. I think the night would've been a little less memorable if I hadn't. So, just a few pictures of these things from my nice phone :) hehe...
My Bag Cake
Ling Wei and I are colour coordinated. hehe!

The only two guys who really stuck to the theme

The girls at the party - minus Steph, Lina, Van Ren, Jebbrine, Amelia... (I hope I didn't forget anyone... hehe... always risky listing out these things out...)

KKB bedmates... hehe... Amelia, Racine, ME

It's always good to have Twister at a party. That's Chern Woo and Terry on the mat.

After clubbing at some place called Poppy. The fella who took it for us kept on pressing the zoom button instead of the correct one and still messed it up. From left to right - Racine, Michelle, Gowri (who looked really nice I have to say), ME, Ling Wei, Van Ren, Lina (it's her top that I'm wearing... haha...)

The guys and me after clubbing. From left to right - Kah Heng, Bryan, ME, Sheng Kai

Best photo of the night taken just outside Poppy. Bryan took it. Left to right - Ling Wei, Gowri, Michelle, ME, Amelia, Stephanie, Racine.

I initially had a nice long and very reflective version of this post all typed out. However, Internet Explorer decided to screw me over. So I am starting over.


Another year has passed. I am almost 21. I am still fundamentally flawed. Nothing much has changed. I still have the same hairstyle, probably dyed two colours too weird but I don't care and I haven't grown to the 5' 7" I wish I could be, nor will I ever. I am still the lazy bum, the last minute procrastinator, the last minute everything. I always thought turning 21 would mean a sudden dawning of adulthood and all the responsible characteristics that come with it. Nope, I don't feel a dawning and I definitely don't feel more responsible, although I think I've been mostly quite good with the being responsible. I am still a child at the end of it all.

I learnt a few difficult lessons this year, most of which I would rather have not been made to sit through, but each has made me a better person and made me realize how little of the world, of other people and of myself I deign to really know. The most difficult is learning to be a happy and contented single-person. It took me the good part of the year to sally myself out of my self-pity and regret and initiate proper friendships with my friends. I'm glad I've got this particular bunch too. They've stuck even when I never really hung out with them much and they were there when I needed them. I thought it was a pretty sucky year till about August when I started going out into the world proper again. I suppose I'd prefer not to comment about the front part of the year, everything's been said and done over enough. Spending time with my friends made me realize how much I'd been missing in Sem 1 and 2 and half of 3. I don't mind really because the time I was away with someone else, I was happy. In any case, I was surprised to find that they'd lend a hand, ear, shoulder, money, foot if the need would ever arise. I'm thankful every day that things turned out the way they did (well, all except two things). So I am thankful for learning to be a happy single and for realizing I have really good friends here.

My family are at this moment at church waiting for mass to start. I am supposed to be sharing the pew with them and my dad will be in the choir. But I am not lonely because I am still going home tomorrow (hopefully not to too much nagging from my mother). There is a purpose to this waiting. Another lesson, idle thoughts and idle hands are really the devil's workshop. I won't care to elaborate.

I think I'm writing this down so there'll be a place I can come back to and remind myself later. Too many things can only be frozen in video or in a photo. Even memories decay and distort with emotion and time.

Second difficult lesson, let go when the time comes. I'm bad at endings. I still am, but I think I'm improving.

Another lesson, don't call, don't sms, don't bother. I'm one of those people who are relentless at endings. I have learnt to be otherwise. I was also clingy. I have learnt to be otherwise. And I have learnt to not read between the lines when it comes to the male gender. They mean what they say, or less than what I think. My brother says I should write about my life... but I think I would be too stereotype to be of any use to anyone save being commercially profitable (if anyone would want to read it!).

Time to get back to cleaning (the room is still dirty and the laundry is still in the living room) and wrapping presents (it's surprisingly very calming).

Here's a story for you. So this is Christmas and I missed my flight home. I'm spending Christmas Eve in vista like the noob that I am. Friday afternoon and repro is over. Everything is rosy and blur and I'm bloody tired due to the early morning hours mugging. I'm dying to sleep but I've got to buy presents. I walk MidValley again with Chris and Kah Heng and a bunch of others. I'm VERY bloody tired. We get back to vista to the party at Bryan's place. It is now 3.15 I get back upstairs to my bed. I set my alarm for 4.30 so that I can pack and leave by 5.45 for the airport to catch my Saturday 7.25am flight. I don't get up till Kah Heng calls me at 6am. There is a rush to pack and it is done in 10mins but we only leave at 6.30am. We get there at 7.04am. The gate is closed. I think I might have a chance at sneaking in but I have luggage to check-in but I say I can squeeze it into my handcarry. The Airasia counter lady says it's too late and I can't get past the gate at this rate. I rush to the sales counter... maybe I can buy a ticket back at a later time. Everything is fully booked but the night flight. But that one's too late. Brunei Airlines and MAS are booked. I am pwned. GG as dota people like to say.

So I am back home and I have booked a flight back for tomorrow at the same time. I will be 24hours late for dinner, give or take. I feel bad but I didn't want to miss the flight either. I should've gotten someone else to wake me up. Every time I leave for the airport it becomes a later and later time. I tested the limits of lateness. Today I have crossed the boundaries of being tardy. I have learnt another lesson... always too late. Again I have disappointed people... my dad, my brother and my mom. Sigh... the story of my life. I do wonder why I grew up this way since my parents are very meticulous when it comes down to things.

I shall be spending Christmas eve wrapping presents and cleaning my room. I don't quite mind. I do deserve it. I am now hungry. All this stress works up an appetite...

Another story to tell the kids... haha. I suppose living life on the edge keeps one on his/her toes. However in this case, I tripped, somersaulted and fell right off the precipice.

The singing elves ended with what we called an IMU X'mas Celebration (but that was last week. I'm bored of studying... haha!). We just wanted to make more money... Pretty good result since we didn't even sell anything remotely useful. I think we contributed to alot of people having more cavities. And due to Yon Xian's request for his picture on this blog, here's a picture of us both then and a few others.

He's the one with photo envy

Su Yuen and Me... might as well take a good photo with a good looking guy :P


Bryan's ad for our orange cordial drink

All the girls around, well in front, of the Christmas tree.

Santa Johan and Santa LiNa

I'm also sick... ugh... fever, flu, sore throat and all :P

Let me tell you about my day. I went shopping at MidValley. However, the usually therapeutic effects of squandering money on otherwise unrequired items was marred by the throng of people who insist on pushing and squashing themselves against everyone else. I still hate crowds. The first time I came to KL and to MidValley I was mortified by ant-like quantity of people walking the mall. I'm immune to having too many people around me now but it's still annoying.

Buying presents for people (albeit people whom you love) is stressful. First, ya gotta think of a meaningful gift (stressful as it is). Second, ya gotta find it (walking up and down and sideways MidValley is very tiring. Repeat walking back and forth a few more times and everything begins to hurt - feet from walking, hands from carrying the bags, back from standing for too long, eyes... brain). Third, ya gotta find it at a place that's not charging crazily expensive for the meaningful gift (Christmas shopping is hard on the wallet... :/).

Anyway, I got gifts for most of the people I wanna get gifts for, the remaining I'm getting just before the Christmas potluck on Friday after Repro exam and just before I fly home (YAY!).

Aside from the irritation I'm finding it strange that I'm getting a bout of... is it regret? or just a need for companionship? or another withdrawal symptom? Well whatever it is, I couldn't shake it off while shopping today. Suddenly I'd be overcome with an overwhelming need to reconcile, but that would never do. Maybe it was just spending too much time alone again. I read some time ago that being anti-social makes you stupid and sad, because they studied it in birds, but I think we know that already... the sad part anyway.

Back to the books! I can't wait for the holidays to start!

Don't leave...

But it's just not working...

It will be better...

No, it won't. It's just going to be the same, again and again. And we'll just go through the motions, until there's nothing left to say...

I think we're already there...

So, another time it is the end of the line. Why do sad endings happen by when it rains? Thunder and lightning fail so miserably to numb the deafening silence that ensues. Nothing else matters then. Even the rain is guilty of forgotten memories of a different past.

The walls turn a shade of blue I don't recognize, whilst split second moments rush by me like a broken tape in fast forward. The confusion envelops me so chokingly tight I cannot say a word. All the hopes, words, moments that I dreamed of, wanted to say, wanted to share, all dashed in that one flash of a disaster. And all I can think about is, 'What can I do to fix this?' even when my mind knows it is the unspeakable end. I grapple for any thing that could be done to turn the situation around, anything... but in my heightened state my heart tricks my tongue into blurting sentences that don't make sense. A reason becomes an excuse. Love becomes manipulation. (No, no... love doesn't exist... not just now anyway)

In all this, I only wish the ends were silent during, not after because no reasons, no excuses, no explanations can move someone just then. If only, if only... those words ring throughout the nights that follow. The incessant repetitions of particular mistakes and remakes of them serve only to plague the mind into hoping that one day, a rewind, erase and replay button to life might be made. Oh yes, if only... if only words said could remain true forever, talk being so cheap nowdays...

My demons have become quiet now. Sometimes I like to revisit them because even they keep me company at night.


Just finished another glorious two or so hours at the cinema! This time we couldn't watch 'Narnia' so it was 'Perhaps Love'! Haha. For those who don't bother when coming across Mandarin musicals, here's a good one! :P Well, pretty good one anyway. I'm almost a complete banana so most of the talk/songs were lost in translation but the english subscripts were sufficient to get me crying halfway through the movie. And I realize I understand Mandarin less than Cantonese which is strange since I always thought I could speak more Mandarin. The dance scenes weren't all that great but the director did try his best with the camera angles to hide the lower budget backdrops. Hehe. It's no Moulin Rouge, that's for sure.

Overall movie rating : Good cry kinda movie. Don't bring guy friend along unless he enjoys wussy romance movies too. I wouldn't mind watching it again, but it still doesn't beat 'City of Glass'.

At the end of the movie, all I could hear in my head was 'there's no such thing as love'. (sigh... I'm beginning to believe that... getting more and more pragmatic as the days go by).

Oh yes before I forget, Takeshi Kaneshiro is H.O.T. I suppose I might as well fantasize since a bloody rich, freaking good-looking and kind fella (refer to friendster for more information) doesn't exist at the moment.

Isn't it strange how all those times that hit you right in the stomach always happen when you least expect? And how all those things you expect to happen don't? It's just that I've just watched 'Alfie' and it's a great movie for an afternoon when one feels like going on a rollercoaster ride, just like 'Closer'. The singing elves thing is finally over and it's time to hit the books, which gives me time to lepak and think (oh no!). I'm thinking about all those nights when I thought, 'I can't believe this is happening.' Each moment becomes so surreal, it feels so much like the movies. And from the second the demolishing ball is rolling, everything goes downhill and there's nothing you can do to stop it. No words, no action that can move. It's such a waste when you know you had just the thing you wanted going, but it was the wrong time, the wrong place, the right person? All those times someone should've said or done something else.

Timing. Sigh...

I'm feeling a little confused today. Not exactly happy but not exactly sad though...

Feelings are such elusive things. They just love creeping up on you. Suddenly I'm gripped by this strong desire to stop trying, for no darn reason. Maybe because it's because it's Christmas time again. I never understood how it could be the loneliest time of the year until I realized the possibility of having to spend it without anyone you love by your side.

Nothing's wrong. I'm just in a funny mood today.

Helloooooo... I'm just back from Bryan's 21st drinking birthday party. Food was scarce but drink was abundant, another time the room is spinning, but not so for me.

Absolut absolut kurrrrant, Baileys is Irish Cream, sometimes I think maybe it's time to be a little less guarded... but people are conservative as a whole. I need this high, to forget for a while, that maybe a break is all I need to remember I am me.

But I'm just not there, and staring up at the ceiling while everyone is getting ready to leave, I think maybe I'm just a little disappointed. Cup after cup, I'm beginning to think it feels more like an unsatisfying time in bed. Foreplay is important boys, don't forget that.

I know I am ready to plant another seed. My subconscious reminds me everyday I am ready, ready to move into another space... but... no one. There is no one I want to love. Sigh...

But I am glad Bryan had a good party, the drinking games were 'fun'... (grrr!) hee hee... Just another hit from the drink emo demon.

Someone come save me please.

Friday night was a great... hee hee... ;) I got to be in three performances which was really tiring to practise for but was well worth the effort. I'm completely grateful for practises with the mic before singing in front of the whole lot of people, otherwise I think I would've definitely froze, not because of the crowd but because I worry I sound weird or am out of tune... (but then again I bet I went off here and there sometimes. Good thing the rest of the group can accommodate. Haha!). The only downside is falling on my bum outside the audi in my ninja outfit because I was doing a windrun towards Fraser in my high heels in a bid to slice his head off with my sword but only succeeding in embarrassing myself by slipping on the wet floor. The bruise on my left hip still hurts. And the Shuriken Shadow Kung Fu dance got pushed to the last performance which was sucky because we didn't get the chance to be voted for an encore :P Ultramen got that... they were really funny :)

It's nice being on stage. There's a whole crowd paying attention to you and expecting a good performance. Doing an acapella and actually singing the melody was a new thing for me. I'd done so many dances I thought I'd try singing this time. I know I'm no super powerful singer but I think I get by :) I was worried I'd mess up with the opening when I was singing a line by myself or worse start in the wrong key but luckily I didn't do either of those very bad things :)))) It's always a nice feeling when a crowd cheers for you (however, whether it's due sheer appreciation for the job well done or obligatory sympathy applause :/ is a different story altogether)

On a totally different note, here are some photos, mostly for the benefit of my brother and my best friend, whom I shall be seeing again when I get back for Christmas :) Hopefully they still read this blog.

Diwali Night - Bry looked really nice in that thing he was wearing

Halloween party - Japanese School Girl outfit (Grrr! Hehe!) and that's Li Na in the back, she was a gypsy

Spawn and LeStat at 7Eleven - I did Bryan's one eye, I can't remember which one but I assume the better looking side :P

The scramble for money has begun. The singing elves booth is up and running and we're calling everyone possible to give us money, or products for door-gifts, anything! Haha. The budget is also coming into shape but it's a little bit all over the place because people can't exactly give us a number for each of their needs to make more money. Stress, stress :P Hopefully we'll be able to get the Santa's costume for free... otherwise it's to that Hartamas costume shop that everyone seems to be talking about we go, and I doubt it will come cheap.

In about 30mins I'll again be practising for the acapella thingie... so many things, so little time. Sometimes I do wish I could be in two places at once.

It's excellent that I'm so busy nowadays there's hardly any time left for me to sulk over losing anything. It's touch and go... do this, YES! it's done, do that... hmmm... more problems... solve problems... yep... life is good. The acapella group (we've decided on the name 'Altered Cleft'. Just typing it has made me realize how spastic it potentially is... sigh... oh well... no one could come up with anything better... at least it isn't Amelia and Friends... since she's not in the performance anymore... Haha...) is coming together nicely and we don't sound as messy without Amelia playing her violin, which is a shame (Amelia not playing violin that is) because I like the violin sounds... I do wish I'd taken up the instrument before. Anyway, the ultra secret Ninja Shadow dance by the 'Shurikens' is also coming along really well although we've still got to get more practice done before Friday so we can attempt to look somewhat synchronized and impressive. Then there's the Friday night opening dance that seems to be all over the place still because it's one of those flowing kind of things and it's to that song from 'Phantom of the Opera' which is definitely not an easy thing to count to.

The IMU Ball publicity outline is done... which is good... but I worry we won't look classy enough... We haven't got no super flash or adobe savvy people in our batch. We're using word for our first poster but then again it's just the singing elves. At least it's better than nothing.We're also adding a new 'IMU Christmas Celebration' event. People can vote for their 'Santa' and get them to dress up and perform on stage on that day. I thought it was a really good idea. Hopefully we'll earn... hee hee... it feels so much more like a business than organizing a ball.

WHY ARE HOTELS SO EXPENSIVE!! We want Mandarin Oriental, but it's freaking expensive!! And I also don't like the menu they had for the lowest cost per pax. Ah well...

And I'm glad that I've finally paid all my bills and am again coming online from home :)

These days the sun seems brighter and I'm not as easily tired out. I'm glad...

Today I decided it was time I get my act together and finish paying my internet bills. But Fate has a different agenda. Haha, so dramatic for no reason whatsoever. Maybank2U says their service is currently not available and Airasia says there appears to be a congestion of some sort in datalines causing the error in systems communication. And after trying for a few minutes I've decided it's time to skip lecture and go home before it's time for a meeting with the funding subcommittee and practises for the ninja shadow dance and the very bad acapella group... we had our first practice with the mic today. It was horrible. I think I croaked into the mic and some of us are too loud or too soft, and I suddenly realize I've got a problem with stage fright when I'm singing... haha... no matter, we'll just have to deal with that tonight when we practise in audi... It really is strange because suddenly my voice goes all shakey and I can't control anything. Now I understand why people forget their lyrics. Haha... cause I did :P

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